All I Want for Christmas

All I Want For Christmas

Buffy couldn’t believe it, Christmas Eve and she was alone. And that wasn’t going to change tonight. Her fiancée had gone home to England to see his family and had called earlier that day to tell her it looked like he wasn’t coming home for Christmas. The snow was too heavy and they couldn’t say when they would have the planes back in the air. So he wouldn’t be there for Christmas. Okay, so she wouldn’t be all alone. She had a party to go to tonight and she was spending Christmas day with her mom and sister. But as much as she loved them it just wouldn’t be the same. She wanted him to be together. It was the first year they had lived together. She was looking forward to waking up on Christmas morning with him in their own home and exchanging their personal gifts to each other before going to her mom’s. And now she wouldn’t have that. She looked sadly at the pile of presents beneath the beautifully decorated tree. They had gone all out this year, each buying lots of presents for the other. And they wouldn’t get to open them together on Christmas day. Therefore, she didn’t care about them. Sure, presents were nice and all but there were more important things. She would gladly give them all away if he could be home for Christmas. That was all that mattered, that she had him there for Christmas.

While she got ready to go out Buffy took her time. She picked out Spike’s favourite dress to wear, did her hair the way he always liked it. She forgot for a moment, but then it came back to her, he wouldn’t be there to see her. That brought on a tide of tears, sitting on the bed she put her head in her hands and sobbed. Christmas without him would be no Christmas at all. When the tears started to subside she stood to fix the bed back into its non- wrinkled order. As she did she spotted something at the foot of the bed, she picked them up, holding them gingerly. As though they were fragile ornaments. It was their stockings. They had bought matching red velvet Christmas stockings, trimmed with fur, personalized with their names in gold coloured thread. They had been so happy when they bought them, making plans for the way they would spend Christmas. All the traditions they were going to start. They were going to hang the matching stockings side by side above the fireplace. Ok, so that was the usual thing to do, but it was still special, because they were going to do it together on Christmas Eve. That was the special part. But what was the point now? She didn’t want to hang them by herself, that wasn’t how it was supposed to be. So she folded them and left them on the bed before leaving for her mom’s for the party.

Buffy was greeted by her smiling mother as soon as she entered the house. But Joyce Summers saw the sad look her daughter wore and her smile faded

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked.

“Spike, he won’t be home. Um, the snow is really bad in England and they didn’t know when they would be able to get a plane in the air.” Buffy looked even sadder as she told her mom what was wrong.

“Oh sweetie, I’m sorry,” Joyce comforted, “do you want to stay here tonight?”

Buffy nodded, “yeah, I don’t want to be at home without him tonight.”

“Ok,” her mom replied, “try and have a good time.”

Buffy just sighed as she watched her mom walk away. She stood in the doorway, watching her friends laughing and enjoying themselves, and although she waved to them she just couldn’t join in the fun. She stayed where she was, the mistletoe above her making her think of Spike

2 years ago

Buffy smiled as she mingled with the friends invited to the annual Summers’ Christmas party. It was a tradition since they had moved to Sunnydale, all of their friends and neighbours came and they had a blast on Christmas Eve. Her cheeriness only increased when Rupert Giles walked in, the man was like a father to her. She could always turn to him. But what really caught her attention was the man behind him. As Giles and the man came towards her though, she turned and left. The butterflies in her stomach were just too much. She was nervous, something drew her to that new man, but she just couldn’t work up the courage to talk to him yet. Eventually she went back downstairs, standing in the doorway, she watched the newcomer chat with everyone. And everyone liked him; he seemed to have a natural ability to draw people to him. It made Buffy smile. He looked round and saw her watching, blushing she turned her head in the other direction.

A few minutes passed and she jumped when she felt someone place a kiss on her cheek. She turned and found herself looking into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. It was the man she had been watching all night. His white blonde hair had a soft curl to it, and he was smiling brightly at her.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Um, h- hi,” she replied nervously, “why did you, ah, you know?”

“Kiss you?” he asked, his eyebrow raised.

Buffy nodded.

“Well, you were standing underneath mistletoe, and it is tradition to kiss a person when you’re underneath the mistletoe with them. And you were there, I was there, therefore, a kiss was in order.”

Buffy couldn’t help but blush again, she felt like it was all she had done all night but she couldn’t stop it.

“Oh,”

“I’m Spike,” he told her, holding his hand out.
“Buffy,” she answered shaking his hand, smiling when he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“So, you’re the famous Buffy. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” she asked

“Yeah, my dad talks about you a lot.”

“Dad?” Buffy was confused for a moment before she realised he had an English accent, “Giles?” she was very surprised at the mere thought of it. But his nod confirmed her suspicion. “I knew Giles had a son but wow.”

Spike smiled, “Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?”

“Definitely good.” She was feeling more at ease now. She liked him, just like she knew she would from the minute she saw him.

“So, do you have a boyfriend?” he asked her, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Why do you want to know?” she flirted right back with him.

“Well, we’re still under the mistletoe, so I want to know in advance if someone is gonna punch me when I kiss you again.”

With a smile Buffy shook her head in the negative, “Nope, no boyfriend.”

“Good,” without any further pause Spike took her face in his hands and kissed her.

From that moment on they knew they had something special. And that they wanted to build their lives together.

******

They had met under the mistletoe, in this very doorway, and she couldn’t bring herself to move from there. She knew he wouldn’t be there this time, but she would wait there for him all the same.

Her friends kept coming to talk to her and trying to draw her into the party, without success. About 10:30 they all gathered around her, trying to talk and cheer her up,

“Hey Buff, what are you getting for Christmas?” Xander asked. Buffy answered with a shrug.

“Think maybe we’ll get snow this year?” was Willow’s attempt. But this only got the same reply.

“I don’t care.” She told them.

“Come on, Buffy, only an hour and a half until Christmas day,” Anya chirped.
“Yeah, But I think I’m just going to go up to bed now. I’m not in the mood for any of this. Merry Christmas guys,” she gave a sad smile before turning and going upstairs.

She went into her old bedroom and changed into her pyjama’s, before she got into bed. Lying under the covers she wrapped her arms around herself, pretending Spike’s arms were the ones wrapped around her. All she wanted at that moment was for Spike to be lying next to her and holding her. She fell asleep to thoughts of him.

Buffy awoke the next morning after a restless sleep. She had heard people laughing and singing Christmas songs downstairs until the early hours. They were all having such a good time, and she should have been too, her and Spike. Together. And it only served to make her more upset, make her wish harder that something would make it possible for him to be there. Hoping that maybe she would wake up in the morning and she’d be lying in his arms. But that didn’t happen.

She moved to get out of bed. She trudged downstairs; her mom was up already, standing in the hall speaking on the phone,

“Oh here she is now,” she heard her mom say as she held the phone towards Buffy, Buffy looked at her and her mom mouthed ‘Spike’, that was all she needed to snatch the phone from her mom

“Spike baby, where are you?”

“Sorry, pet.” Was all he said and Buffy’s heart sank. He wasn’t going to be here today.

“It’s ok,” she mumbled. “When are you going to be home?”

“Soon,” he promised, “look baby, I have to go, just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas and I love you.”

“Love you too,” she told him sadly, “See you soon.”

“Bye,” Buffy felt like she would cry when she heard the dial tone.

Without a word she went back upstairs and dressed. When she came back down her mom put on a cheery smile, and gave her a hug, wishing her a Merry Christmas. They sat in the living room and her mom handed out her gifts. She went through the motions of opening them, trying to smile and pretend it was everything she wanted for Christmas, as much of a lie as it was. She had to pretend. But the gifts felt meaningless to her. Because the one thing she really wanted wasn’t there, it wasn’t something that could be wrapped up and put under her tree. What she wanted she couldn’t have.

Buffy was still putting on a false smile an hour later. Her friends were coming over to exchange gifts and although she knew she wasn’t in the Christmas mood she would try and be happy for their sakes. When she heard the door knock she told Joyce she would let her friends in. As she stood up she heard Joyce gasp,

“It’s snowing,” but Buffy still didn’t care. She went to the door and opened it. She looked in shock at the person in front of her before bursting into tears. Standing there on the doorstep, in the light snow was Spike. She ran to him and hugged him tight, crying into his chest. He smoothed her hair, and kissed her head.

“Hey baby, don’t cry,” he pleaded.

“I thought you wouldn’t be home,” she said through her sobs.

“But I am,” he smiled.

“Yeah,”there were still tears in her eyes, but her face now wore a huge smile.

Spike looked into her eyes and leaned down to kiss her, “Love you, baby”

“Love you too.”
“So, want to show me what you got for Christmas?” he requested, “then we’ll get you home and I’ll give you your gifts.”

“It doesn’t matter what I got,” she told him, “because non of it was what I wanted. But I have got what I wanted.”

“Really?” he asked, raising his eyebrow in that way she loved. “And that would be…”

“All I want for Christmas is you.”

“You’ve got me,” he promised, kissing her again as the snow continued to fall around them.